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Why doesn’t everyone think I am fabulous?

Crown
I will admit it. I want everyone to like me. Two things I have struggled with most in my life are people pleasing and perfectionism. In the past, if someone didn’t like me or critiqued my work, I could spend an unhealthy and disproportionate amount of time lamenting on where I went wrong and then I would make a plan to fix it. But the problem was, no matter how hard I tried, I still disappointed people and made mistakes.

It could be because I am human. And as far as I know, human beings can strive for excellence but they can never be perfect. Having the hope of perfectionism is like having a boat with a hole in it and thinking you can stay afloat if you can just keep the water out of the bottom. Eventually, you will take on more water than you can bail out and get tired of trying to fulfill other people’s expectations. This leads to burnout or drowning. Neither, a good option.

But what if I was perfect? Then would everyone think I was fabulous?

Actually, the answer is no.

This week is Passion (Holy) Week on the Christian calendar. On Palm Sunday, the first day of Passion Week, Jesus made his triumphal entrance into Jerusalem on a humble donkey. The people were so enamored by Jesus they lined the street with their cloaks and palm leaves in honor of the one they believed to be the next royal King from the line of David. Five days later, that same King hung on a splintered wooden cross with a crown of thorns on his innocent head – naked, accused, mocked, beaten, hated, and judged – but still perfect.

People don’t want perfectionism. They want what they want, when they want it.

By His sacrifice, we have been made perfect. Not on earth but in eternity. Not by merit or good works but by the grace of our faithful and loving Father. Your crown may always be tilted in the eyes of others but it was never tilted to the God who chose you before the foundation of the earth. You will always be fabulous to the One who truly counts! This is grace.

Brennan Manning wrote: “God loves you without condition or reservation and loves you this moment as you are not as you should be! Real freedom is the freedom from the opinion of others. Above all, freedom from your opinion about yourself.”

In closing, here are a few scriptures for further reflection:

“Man looks on the outward appearance and, but the LORD looks at the heart.” I Samuel 16:7 (NIV)

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 (NIV)

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God” Ephesians 2:8 (NIV)

I would love to hear your thoughts on, Why doesn’t everyone think I am fabulous. Please don’t hesitate to share your stories or comments below. You might also enjoy My summer goal to end perfectionismCLICK HERE.  If I can encourage you through coaching or prayer, please connect with me.

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Until next time, have an incredible week!

Angela

9 Responses
  • Brenda Franklin-Strout
    March 21, 2016

    My goodness, this is where I ‘ve lived for so long, inviting perfectionism isn’t every area of my life and heart. I love Brene’ Brown’s quote: “When perfectionism is driving, shame is always riding shotgun — and fear is the annoying back seat driver.” It’s been so true in my own life and now that I am navigating out of that, it is more challenging than I thought! I’m in it…and God is with me…perfecting all that concerns me…about me. This is so good, Angela. Thank you for your transparency and assuring us all that we are not alone.

    • Angela L Craig
      March 21, 2016

      Thank you Sis for bringing more encouragement and value to my thoughts about perfectionism and people pleasing. I love Brene’ Brown’s quote! Have a great day!

  • Karen Porter
    March 21, 2016

    What a valuable thought to temper the unrealistic and exhausting drive to please everyone with perfection. Even Jesus, the ONLY perfect one to walk this earth, didn’t have everyone loving him. And is He not our example? I suppose there’s also this verse that should remind us of the same principle, ‘Woe to you when everyone speaks well of you,’ Luke 6:26a.

    Thank you, Angela, for sharing!

    • Angela L Craig
      March 21, 2016

      Thank you for sharing Karen. Luke 6:26 is perfect!

      • Angela L Craig
        March 24, 2016

        Hi Laura, It is so great to hear from you on this weeks blog. I appreciate your insight! Have a great Easter! Angela

  • Angela Howard
    March 21, 2016

    Love that quote from Manning…Real freedom is the freedom from the opinion of others. Above all, freedom from your opinion about yourself. It’s so important to have God’s perspective foremost in our minds. Knowing God, His character and His love for us erases that need to please or the need to defend ourselves better than anything else. Great thoughts as we go into celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus. He is more than enough!

  • Laura Hicks
    March 23, 2016

    Trying to please others was all I did for years, and when I finally stopped worrying about them and focused on God my life was changed. If a perfect person can’t make everyone happy, and being myself makes God happy, there’s really only one choice!

  • Dee
    March 27, 2018

    Oh my Angela!! Reading this I thought…is she possibly my twin from another mother?? For much of my life, until I returned to university & finished my BS degree (at 35) I was too wrapped up in pleasing others & perfection. Then I got the MS diagnosis & I said enough is enough! I focused on prayer & meditation to relieve any worry & totally changed my outlook. Now 22 years later I feel so much more positive, I turn to prayer so often that I’ve asked hubby if I should just ask God to allow a direct line. Do you think Jesus ever says boy she prays & asks for a lot??
    I pray that you too have moved forward from concerns of others thoughts towards you. I still occasionally get caught up in thinking why doesn’t this person contact me-I’ve tried to connect? But then I ask the Lord to get me through to thinking about those that matter & concerns that matter. He has saved me more than once & I owe him my life. I’m grateful for his grace 🙏 & salvation. And, your friendship too!! ❤️😊

    • Angela L Craig
      May 9, 2018

      Thank you for sharing your experiences. It has made a difference in my life and I am confident in anyone’s life who reads this!

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